And I don’t mean doing the shopping, catching up on the housework or ticking another job off that never-ending to-do list!
I mean something that was just for YOU.
Something that made you smile, brought you joy or simply gave you a little breathing space.
Can you remember the last time you did that?
It’s funny, isn’t it, how easily we can get caught up in looking after everyone and everything else?
There’s always something that needs doing. Someone who needs our help. Another job waiting for us.
And before we know it, another day has gone by and we haven’t given ourselves a second thought.
I know, because I’ve been there.
In fact, for much of my life, I was a bit of an expert at putting everyone else first!
When Everyone Else Came First
Looking back, I can see that my people-pleasing started when I was very young.
I grew up believing that being kind meant being helpful, agreeable and making sure everyone else was happy.
If someone needed something, I’d be there.
If someone asked for help, I’d find a way, even if I was exhausted or had plenty of my own things to do.
And for a long time, I didn’t question it.
I thought that was simply what you did.
But what I didn’t realise was how often I was putting my own needs, feelings and wishes to one side.
I could always find time for everyone else, but finding time for myself was another matter entirely!
And even when I did finally sit down with a cuppa, my mind would be racing through all the things I should be doing.
Sound familiar?
It took me a long time to recognise that somewhere along the way, I’d learnt to measure my worth by how much I did for other people.
And that wasn’t always a very kind way to treat myself.
Learning That I Matter Too
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt over the years is that looking after myself isn’t selfish.
And neither is saying no, taking a break or choosing to do something simply because I enjoy it.
In my book, The Unrushed Woman, I share something that took me many years to understand:
You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to prove your worth.
And you certainly don’t have to wait until everything is finished before you’re allowed to enjoy yourself!
Because, let’s face it, when is everything ever finished?
There’s always another email, another bit of housework, another idea or something else that needs our attention.
Even now, running Breathe & Bloom, I sometimes have to remind myself of this.
I absolutely love what I do.
I love working with women, teaching, sharing what I’ve learnt and watching those beautiful moments when someone begins to recognise their own worth and what they’re capable of.
But when you’re passionate about something, it’s very easy to keep going because you enjoy it.
I’ll sit down at my laptop to do one little thing, and before I know it, a couple of hours have disappeared!
And that’s something I’ve become much more aware of recently.
Because even when we’re doing something we love, we still need time for ourselves.
Time to switch off.
Time to enjoy the people and things that matter to us.
And sometimes, time to do absolutely nothing at all!
I’m learning that closing the laptop, going for a walk, spending time with my family or simply sitting quietly with a cuppa isn’t time wasted.
It’s part of looking after myself.
And I don’t need to feel guilty about it.
Coming Home to Ourselves
When I wrote The Unrushed Woman – A Soulful Journey Back to the Woman You Were Always Becoming, I wasn’t writing about a woman who had everything figured out.
I certainly haven’t!
I was writing about the journey I’ve been on myself.
A journey of recognising old patterns, questioning beliefs I’d carried for years and learning to trust myself again.
And through my own experiences and the women I’ve supported over the years, I’ve come to realise how easily we can lose little parts of ourselves.
Not because we’ve done anything wrong.
But because we’ve spent so much of our lives being everything to everyone else.
We become so used to asking what other people need that we forget to ask ourselves the same question.
What do I need?
What would make me happy?
What would I love to do, just for me?
Sometimes those can be surprisingly difficult questions to answer.
Especially when you’ve spent years putting yourself at the bottom of the list.
But I’ve learnt that we don’t have to make enormous changes to begin finding our way back.
Sometimes it starts with something very small.
A little more awareness.
A little more kindness towards ourselves.
Or simply giving ourselves permission to say, “Actually, today I’m going to do something for me.”
Being an Unrushed Woman isn’t about doing less. It’s about no longer losing yourself in everything you do.
And I think that’s something so many of us need reminding of.
Remember. Root. Become.
These three words are at the heart of The Unrushed Woman Philosophy and the work I’m continuing to develop through Breathe & Bloom.
For me, they’re not about becoming a completely different person.
They’re about reconnecting with the woman who’s been there all along.
Remembering who we are beneath all the roles we’ve taken on, the expectations we’ve carried and the beliefs that may have held us back.
Rooting ourselves in greater self-worth, learning to trust our own wisdom and recognising that our needs and boundaries matter too.
And Becoming more comfortable expressing who we truly are, embracing our gifts and allowing ourselves to enjoy the life we’re creating.
And the lovely thing is, we don’t have to wait for some big breakthrough to begin.
We can bring these changes into everyday life.
Through the little choices we make.
The moments when we listen to ourselves.
The times we say no without feeling we need to explain ourselves.
Or when we choose to do something that brings us joy, simply because we want to.
It’s not about getting everything right.
It’s about learning to live a little differently, one gentle step at a time.
So, Here’s a Little Invitation
Sometime this week, I’d love you to do one thing just for yourself.
And I don’t mean something useful that you’ve been meaning to get around to!
I mean something that you genuinely enjoy.
It doesn’t have to cost anything.
It doesn’t have to take hours.
It might be sitting quietly with a cuppa, going for a walk, reading a few pages of a book, listening to your favourite music or spending time doing something creative.
Maybe it’s arranging to meet a friend.
Or perhaps it’s saying no to something you really don’t want to do, so you can enjoy a little time to yourself instead.
Whatever it is, here’s the important bit.
Do it without feeling guilty.
Don’t spend the whole time thinking about what you should be doing instead.
Don’t feel you have to make up for it afterwards.
Just enjoy it.
And notice how it feels to give yourself the same care and consideration you so freely give to everyone else.
Because you deserve that too.
In The Unrushed Woman, I invite readers to reconnect with something we often lose touch with as life gets busy.
The things we genuinely want.
Not what we think we should want.
Not what everyone else expects of us.
But the little things that make us feel happy, peaceful and more like ourselves.
So perhaps, while you’re enjoying that moment to yourself, you could ask:
What would I love to make more space for in my life?
And give yourself a little time to listen to the answer.
You might be surprised by what comes up.
Because sometimes the smallest changes are the beginning of something much bigger.
And you don’t have to change everything overnight.
In your own time. In your own way.
Until next time, remember to let your beautiful light shine.
With love,
Bernie x
Breathe & Bloom – Spiritual Empowerment, Healing & Transformational Mentoring
A Little More Support for Your Journey
If today’s blog has resonated with you, and you’d love a little more support as you reconnect with yourself, I’d love to share something very close to my heart.
The Unrushed Woman Sanctuary opens in January 2027.
It’s a welcoming online space I’m creating for women who want to make more room for themselves, explore their intuition and continue their personal and spiritual growth alongside like-minded women.
Through monthly gatherings, meditations, healing resources and gentle encouragement, we’ll explore what it means to Remember, Root and Become in our everyday lives.
There’s no pressure to have everything figured out or to become someone different.
Just a space where you can be yourself, feel supported and continue embracing the woman you’re becoming.
You can find out more about my work at https://breatheandbloom.ie.
Because you matter too. 💜
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